telling it like it is

My friend Olivia on Glasgow's weather:

Gah! Rain! Now I am soggy and wet! GRUMP.
Gah! Sun! In my eyes! And now I must watch it miserably out of my window. Stupid sun.
Gah! Wind! Hair in my face! Aaaargh! Stupid wind.
Gah! Snow! Cold feet and falling on my face! Stupid stupid snow.
Gah! Clouds again?! Why do we never get any NICE weather in Glasgow? Stupid clouds.

We are knee-deep in Snowpocalypse 2010 (it's been snowing since Friday night and we have managed to accumulate MAYBE six inches of snow so far). This is nothing, and people are freaking out. God forbid the Scots ever come to New Hampshire.

happy thanksgiving!

In solidarity, today I am eating a turkey sandwich for lunch (& looking fairly demonic, sorry about that).

Tonight I am going to a seminar over at Glasgow Uni and then I am going to my second Thanksgiving dinner with some international friends; I'm very excited. Thanksgiving is something I think everyone can get behind when you present it as "eat a lot and drink a lot until you think you will explode, take a nap, AND THEN EAT MORE."

jive turkey

Happy Thanksgiving week, blogfolks! Continuing on the theme of my blog as a food blog...

I was worried that I was going to miss Thanksgiving and be sad about it, but this was not the case! Instead I am going to not one but two Thanksgiving parties. The first one is tonight, with the Scottish Lesbian Army & Friends. My international friends are having a Thanksgiving party on actual Thanksgiving, which is going to be a lot of fun - they really like the concept of getting everyone all together in one space.

On the whole the UK is very confused by Thanksgiving, which is adorable. They get the concept of it, but not much else. They don't really get the customs or the food you'd eat. But I have a bunch of friends who are also Americans, and we've been trying to explain it as "everyone gets together, gets dressed up, drinks a lot of wine, eats a fuckton of food, watches tv, takes a nap, and eats more". Everyone likes the idea of it, and we've told them to think of it sort of like Christmas, but with more food. Christmas is their big holiday, with turkeys and stuffing and whatnot. I had a "Christmas sandwich" yesterday, which was chicken, ham and stuffing. (And probably mayo.) Close, guys...

We have cranberry sauce here, but it usually comes in a small jar and is very expensive. Dried cranberries are pretty easy to come by, but nothing beats a good cranberry sauce for Thanksgiving, right? It took four stores in two different parts of town, but finally found some! LOOK AT THIS:


I bought three bags of them, had to go hunt down nutmeg, and ran home to get down to business. My flatmates thought I was NUTS. They watched me do it, deciding that I was in fact making cranberry jam. Not quite... All my friends (except for the Americans, they are clearly excited too) think cranberry sauce is "mental" and simply cannot wrap their minds around it. I hope they are ready...I just tasted it & it's delicious.

I feel it in my bones

It is November and I am freezing already. I have many more months of this, and I understand it is only going to get worse.

You would think that after 22 years of bitter New England winters I would be prepared for Scottish winters. I thought I would be! I'm a pretty hardy New Englander. Being cold doesn't really bother me - I am prone to opening windows in February in New Hampshire. In fact I don't think I ever thought to myself "holy HELL, it is cold." In New England, it's a really windy sort of cold - the temperature will drop really low and you can feel the cold on your skin.

Glasgow shares a latitude line with Moscow. Which, by the way, is in Russia. But I was assured that we get a "nice Gulf Stream warm-up" from being so close to the Atlantic. This was a lie. Every day I think "Holy HELL, it is cold." (On paper it doesn't sound terribly cold here - the temperature's been hovering around 45 degrees Fahrenheit, which isn't terrible. I would daresay that 45 is a pretty good temperature for the fall, especially this time of the fall.)

But it's not the same kind of cold. This whole country wears wool coats all the time, because it's the only way to keep warm(ish). By mid-October, I had to go out and buy a wool coat because my New England-Acceptable ski coat wasn't keeping me warm! It's not a windy sort of cold here - though we do have wind sometimes and then you just sort of want to die - it's more of a damp cold that seeps through your bones and into each individual muscle and you wonder if you will ever be warm again. Suddenly I understand the wool coat thing, they sort of act as insulation for your body.

In light of my blog slowly but surely becoming a food blog, this brings me back to soup. As you might know, I love soup. It's good for you and warms you up - what else can you ask for? Unfortunately, as I know all too well from my previous visit to the UK, the only sort of soup you can really get is Cream of Blank soup. Even straightforward things like minestrone soup is more like Cream of Minestrone soup. If you order chicken soup expecting chicken noodle soup you are going to be very disappointed, because you've actually got cream of chicken soup. Some cream of blank soups are delicious - cream of broccoli, for instance, is a magical thing. And then there are others that are just surprisingly lumpy in ways you don't want. (I imagine the Brits find American soups to be terribly weak.)

As a result of being cold all the time, I spend a lot of time around lunchtime thinking about how much I would like soup, but I would not like the cream form of it. (The last time I did this I got cream of lentil soup, which I would like to not eat ever again, thanks.) I would look around at the soup selections in the grocery stores, thinking, "This would be great if it was not going to be cream of blank." (I realize I could make soup myself, but that sounds difficult.) Imagine my surprise when I found pumpkin and coriander soup the other day!
yes, I do eat in my room rather than in the kitchen.

Pumpkin is not A Thing here - I saw a few of them for a hot second around Halloween, but they're not very popular, whereas you are all drowning in pumpkin flavored everythings. So naturally, this is all I have been eating for the past few days. Admittedly this is also a cream of pumpkin situation, but that is totally the correct way to do this. I am very pleased. All is right with the world again, or at least until they take this pumpkin soup out of the stores - it's a "limited release".

we're from north america!

I have been here long enough that the initial shock of UK vs American English has sort of worn off. At first I was making a conscious effort to try and translate things into UK English - especially in an international community, many people only know British English - but I've mostly given that up. I probably sounded like a tool. If anything, retaining American English makes for a good discussion point amongst English studies and linguistics people.

But it still stresses me out that I don't know how to be polite over here. Well, it's not that I don't know how to be polite; I consider myself to be a very polite person. Cashier at the store, I know you are probably having a shitty time; I want you to know that I appreciate your existence. Waitress, thanks for bringing over my food; no, I don't need anything else, I'm all set thanks. It's just that I don't know what the UK equivalent of politeness would be!

For the most part, I can deal with this sort of thing in mini interactions. In stores or at the coffeeshop, it's mostly fine. Every morning I see the housekeepers for my office on their way out and I will tell them "Have a nice day." (They are still baffled by this, and I have been doing this for nearly a month now.) After purchasing something from a store, I will tell the cashiers to "Have a nice day." ("Cheers" means "Thanks", but it's not the same sort of thing. "Ta" is more of a "thank you" than "cheers", though, and is used mostly as a "thanks for holding the door open" sort of situation.)

Everyone here seems very taken aback by the question "How are you?" (and variations thereof: "How have you been?"). The usual answer I get - once the other party gets over the original processing of the question at hand, that is - is "Yeah, I've/it's been alright." AND HERE IS WHERE THINGS GET COMPLICATED FOR BOTH PARTIES:

In American English, "alright" is used to show indifference. Maybe it was mediocre. It was okay. Nothing spectacular. I've been okay.

In British English, however, "alright" means that it was good, or that they've been well, or that they had a good time.

I'll ask someone how an event was and they'll tell me that it "was alright, yeah". And that means that they really enjoyed it! If you've asked how they've been doing, "I've been great, thanks!" I imagine the pragmatics of these particular conversations would be FASCINATING to study. That said, I think the British English equivalent of "How have you been?" is "How've you been getting on?", but that seems to be used to show concern over something.

Occasionally there are people who are used to interacting with North (Canadians do this too!) Americans, who are used to getting this question a lot, and they usually ask me back - "How was your weekend?" And I will say that it was "alright", in the American sense of "it was okay", whereas they are using it in the sense of "oh, it was very good." Do you see the problem here? (My Irish flatmates will describe something as "grand" if it is good, which is at least a little less stressful.)

Clearly I don't want to come off as an stupid American lumbering around any more than I have to, but it legitimately bothers me that I can't figure out how to come off as polite here. To finish a transaction and not say anything - which appears to be the standard UK response - seems terribly rude to me. The same goes for not asking someone how they have been doing! I don't think I'll ever wrap my mind around this. And I'm sure as soon as I do, I'll be back in the States being horrifically rude to everyone ever.

Q: What's orange and tastes like bubblegum?

A: Irn Bru!

Yes, this is a real thing. Here in Scotland, Irn Bru annually outsells Coca Cola products.

It is not as terrible as it looks. It's actually pretty good, once you get past the color. It has been described to me as the national beverage of Scotland and "the best hangover drink of all time". (It is basically 100% sugar.) I was very apprehensive about trying it - admittedly, the color is very offputting; I will only drink it from a can - but it's not terrible. (It's also not great, however.)

I could go on forever about Adventures in Eating here. Maybe I will just give up and turn this into a food blog.

remember remember the fifth of november

Today is Guy Fawkes Day! (If you do not know who this is and you are reading my blog, I am going to need you to go obtain a copy of V for Vendetta - the film or the graphic novel are both acceptable - and check back in when you are done.)
Scotland is a very... nationalistic place, to say the least. Though it is part of the United Kingdom, it is very much it's own country: Scotland has its own parliament and Scots law is different than English law. Yes, it's technically English, but it is its own variety of English. (They even have their own dictionary.) Here in Scotland, we are SCOTTISH DAMMIT. Someone who is a native of Scotland would probably be very offended if you thought they were English.

(The closest analogy I can give you is that Scottish nationalism is much like Southern [American] Nationalism - it's as if Texas was the most liberal part of America and constantly threatening to leave as a result of the rest of the country being too conservative. Perhaps more accurately, Scotland is what would happen if Vermont got its act together and decided to become its own country once and for all.)

So naturally the Scots are very, very excited about Guy Fawkes Day. How could they not be? Dude tried to overthrow an entire government by blowing that shit up. I imagine if their Personal Life Hero role had not been already claimed by Robert Burns (more on this in January), Guy Fawkes would be a close contender for the position. People don't seem to really excited about going out for Guy Fawkes Day like we would for the 4th of July, though I have been promised many fireworks tonight. I assure you that my daily life is not full of bagpipers and kilted men - though this does happen, but mostly for weddings and other severely formal events - but I would not be surprised if they were out in full force today.

keep calm & carry on: it's a thing

When Americans talk about stereotypes they often forget about themselves - how are we seen by the rest of the world? (I have many feelings about this, of course.) More often than not, I've discovered that Americans are viewed as industrious people. (Or, at least, I am seen as such a person.)

Things will frequently go awry and nobody seems to notice. Well, not even awry, that makes it sound like something terrible has happened. But "Keep calm and carry on"? That's not a joke. That's a real mantra here. Well, they might not say it, but it's been totally internalized.

Little things will happen in our flat- like the lightbulb that burned out in our hallway over a month ago - and nobody seems to mind the inconvenience of not having a lightbulb there. All we have to do is go down to the accommodation office and ask for a new one, but everyone seems to be okay with not having light there. This is fairly minor - the second week that we were here, we didn't have running water when we woke up one morning. No running water meant no shower AND no coffee (and no tea), and my three flatmates sort of thought about it and decided well, it wasn't the best of situations but surely we will manage. I got dressed to go find someone to fix this situation immediately, because water is one of those important things that people need to have.

But it's not just my in my apartment. The other week, we blew a fuse in the department's kitchenette. While this remained unfixed, the tea drinkers were all busy running around chasing/hoarding the kettle across the department. Meanwhile, the coffee drinkers would be herded to move the giant industrial coffeemaker to the next nearest office, sit and wait for the coffeemaker to do its thing, and then move it all back into the kitchen in case whoever's office it wasn't around or was busy when the next coffee round happened. This was fixed pretty quickly, lest the department fall apart from lack of tea. Meanwhile, the door handle of the ladies room fell off and nobody seems to be especially concerned. We might get trapped in the toilet for a while if we're not careful - but no bother! Nobody (besides me) seems to be overly concerned about these things. In fact, I would maybe venture to guess that nobody is worried about anything here.

Similarly and/or tangentially, nobody seems to be especially upset over not having internet. In fact, I know a lot of people who don't have internet in their flat. Not only does this seem to be an extraordinarily normal thing, nobody seems to be particularly bothered by it. (In contrast, I get stressed out if I'm going to be at Glasgow University library for more than 2 hours, because I will not be able to get online without a Glasgow university username to check my email.) I guess it is the same sort of idea of just keeping calm and carrying on.

This boggles my mind, but I am slooooowly getting used to it. I'm quickly learning that if something happens it could take a few days to get fixed. A printer jam in the States will be fixed in about 5 minutes, but here we might be printerless for a week or so, but we'll manage somehow. We always do.

the dream of a common language

The Scottish accent is famously a pretty dense thing to decipher. It's a British English accent, but with more to it. I don't know how else to describe it - and on top of that, the Glasgow accent is like the Extra Super Mega Scottish Accent. It's like listening to Sean Connery talk every day. (Some people are less mumbly.) After living here for about 5 weeks I'm starting to not notice it anymore; it's starting to sound pretty normal to me. Ordinarily this would be a terrifying concept to not notice something as big as an accent, but I am generally taking it as a good sign - This is a vast improvement over my first few weeks here, when I understood about 45% of what was being said to me at any moment in time. Though I'm a native speaker of English, sometimes I may as well not be!

Here's a fairly accurate clip about the Scottish accent:


Anecdotally: the other day I was skyping with A, who is in South Korea, when a guy with a fairly standard Glaswegian accent came by to look at our shower and reported back to me that there was nothing especially wrong with it...and A was dying - "DOES EVERYONE SOUND LIKE THAT?!" Yes. The answer is yes.

You wouldn't think this, but American English and British English are more different than you'd expect. Scots English is different enough from British English (it even has its own dictionary: The Dictionary of the Scots Language) but from what I can tell it's close enough to British English for my general purposes.

There are still a lot of words I don't quite "get" yet, and I feel ridiculous saying almost all of these things. Here everyone would say "loads" where we would say "lots", and the word "wee" is liberally used here to describe something that is small. "What's on?" is equivalent to "What's happening?" or "What's going on?". I have to remember not to ask for "a bathroom", as I will be directed to a shower room; I need to ask for a toilet instead, and "loo" is often thrown around instead. Then there are the things I absolutely cannot wrap my brain around: I keep calling the kettle the teapot, and if I am looking for push pins, I am looking for "drawing pins", which go in a "notice board", not a cork board.

There's an interesting article floating around that discusses how language is directly influenced by the people speaking around you - I can guarantee this is is true. I am trying to let some Britishisms into my language though - I can hear myself trying to replicate the intonation patterns of native UKers, and I'm catching myself describe things as "quite _____", more so than I usually would. Especially in an international setting - where most people have learned British rather than American English - it's often easier to use Britishisms as common ground.

That said, I definitely can't replicate a Scottish accent at all. I sometimes still catch myself being very embarrassed when I speak, because my accent is so flat and boring and very, very American, while a good Glasgow accent is so sing-songy, and all the back vowels are dipthongized. (If you are not a linguisticky type person, this means that they actually have two vowel sounds smushed together. [iu] for /u/ sounds are the most noticable, though /o/ and /a/ have some pretty good ones too. I can't find you a page about this that doesn't involve a lot of knowledge of phonetic background information, but you can probably find something accessible on youtube.)

While I can use a lot of the lingo properly, I can't help but feel like I must sound like an idiot with my ridiculous American accent. (Thankfully, the phoneticists around me say I don't have much of a Boston accent but more of a Canadian accent - looks like Mom's Canadianness rubbed off on me more than I thought! I don't hate Boston accents, but now I am very glad to not have too strong of one.)

today in adventures in grocery shopping

YOU GUYS LOOK WHAT I FOUND. This really is A Thing here!
--
In the United Kingdom, most people go out for lunch, getting a sandwich/snack/drink combo for about £3, but for whatever reason, the UK is insistent that mayo must go on everything and that vegetables are a sort of rare event. I wholeheartedly disagree with this sentiment, so I bring a vegetable-filled mayo-free sandwich for lunch to my office instead. Since I essentially sit and read all day, I try to go for a walk around lunchtime down The Death Hill, just for a change of scenery. I usually just go to one of the corner grocery stores and pick up a yogurt. (UK food has a reputation for being pretty terrible - this is only 85% true; it took me about three weeks to find a vegetable that wasn't a potato here and I almost cried with happiness the first time I found a bag of spinach in a grocery store - but god damn this country can do yogurt well.) I am pleased to report that in this particular Sainsbury's, spotted dick lives comfortably next to the yogurt. I think this could be a fairly terrible accidental purchase.

people told me slow my roll, i'm screaming out "fuck that!"

One of the first things I was told when I arrived here was "slow down." I was also told not to worry about "breakneck American speed", whatever that was.

I am beginning to understand what is meant by "breakneck American speed".

Basically, if you know anybody in graduate school in the States, you know that they keep 15-20 hour days, are often wearing clothes from three days ago and look pretty ragged. Being a graduate student in the US is far from a glamorous thing - you'll often get looks of pity from other people when you tell them you're in graduate school! This is what I was expecting from graduate school in the UK - and was asking advice of people whom I had viewed as successful graduate students on surviving the journey. I had assumed that graduate school was a universal experience of intellectual masochism.

This is simply not how higher education works here. I was gearing up for 15-20 hour days of work only to find out that nobody would EVER do that! The postgrads I share an office with nearly fell out of their chairs when they heard that American grad students would work that much. In ONE DAY? they asked. They said that if I worked for six to eight hours a day "that would be a beautifully productive day" and that "I should go to the pub immediately". SIX TO EIGHT HOURS, you guys. (They do make a valid point, though - after a while, doesn't the quality of the work you produce go down? Well, yes...) Later I inquired about gaining access to the office over the weekend, and everyone stared at me. "Why would you come in over the weekend unless you had a giant deadline hanging over your head?" they asked. Because I have work to do? I don't know when they get anything done.

I try to show up at my office around 10 or 11 Monday through Friday and work until about 7 or 8 pm unless I have seminars to attend or meetings with people. When I go home I stop working. Not only is this unheard of in American-style grad school - or any American education system really, I am still being told I work too much! As it is, I am already pulling "ridiculous hours at the office"; I am almost always the first person to arrive. The other grad students think I am crazy for even attempting this.

It is arguably harder to slow down than it is to speed up. Given pressure, I think you can definitely learn how to do more work. (You might not like it, however.) But being told to do less work? I'm having such a hard time figuring out what i should DO with myself! I have a book that I have been working through slowly for one of my professors and could be working harder at, and I have other readings that I could be working on too. But no, I decided, I should take the weekend off. Or at least as much of it as I could bear. If you knew me in college, you know that I would do schoolwork every day except for Friday (I would sleep on Friday.)

So in an effort to slow down, on my first weekend after the semester started, I:
read a book for fun,
went to a farmer's market,
saw three bands play a gig,
went grocery shopping at two separate stores,
visited three art galleries,
scoped out a couple other art galleries,
looked into seeing some plays,
tried to hunt down some books I need for a class I joined,
walked to a new part of the city and back,
sent some emails,
typed up some drafts for future posts,
and read two articles and wrote a 500 word response
...all before 6pm on Sunday night. (Last weekend was quite similar.)

So much for slowing down! It's so strange to be told to relax. I've been working on it, though but I feel like I'm not not doing anything ever! As it is, I don't really have anything "due" at any specific date; I just sit and read and produce ideas. (I should point out that I don't really have classes that have things due - as an MRes student, I'm essentially a PhD student, but without the title.) I don't know what to do with all this free time. I suppose I should cultivate a hobby or seven.

I don't mind the weather, I've got scarves and caps and sweaters

I just wish I understood it.

The other day someone turned to me and said, "Oh, we're having a lovely fall!" It is sixty degrees and raining. Fall? I've been spoiled by beautiful New England autumns for the past 22 years. Living in a city often means "no trees", though. But as for the weather...


(image from thefuckingweather dot com)This is what my weather report has been telling me for the past week. Actually, this is all my weather report will tell me. (I imagine I could use a better weather website, but that takes the fun out of things.) Unfortunately, this is not the most helpful advice.

I've desperately been trying to figure out what Scotland's weather is like. Well, I mean, of course it rains; we are in the United Kingdom. But a lot of it is not intuitive. I also have rapidly figured out that I always need to have an umbrella on me - even if it has been sunny and beautiful all day, it is bound to rain at some point. It is also not uncommon for rain to happen while it is perfectly sunny - clear skies and rain (this happened repeatedly last week.)

A larger problem is that they insist on using Celsius here, which means that sometimes someone will say "It's so hot out - 22 degrees!" and I have a little heart attack for a second. (My idea of "hot" is American style 80+ F with humidity.) That said, we've been having a great few weeks in what I believe is the mid to high 60s. I have been informed that this is a "heat wave". Unfortunately this also means that sometimes it will be around 35-40 (F) and I will find people wearing just a t-shirt. I know I am not one to speak - I have questionable tastes of what is counts as hot vs cold - but even I know that 30 degrees is unreasonable for t-shirt weather.

I've also been told that winter here is "miserable", which to my New England brain translates to "wet, snowy, and cold as fucking hell." My office is on this gigantic mega-hill (as seen below, though I assure you, google maps will not do it justice, increase the incline by about 45% more. Today I saw three cars stall out while trying to park).
I asked the English department if I will need to buy ice picks for wintertime. They assured me that no, I will not need to do this. I don't see how this is possible.

through the roof n underground

This is the the Glasgow Underground, affectionately nicknamed The Clockwork Orange, as it goes in a circle every 8 minutes. It is wildly efficient, and it has the added bonus of BEING IMPOSSIBLE TO MESS UP BECAUSE IT IS A CIRCLE.

As a non-city person I was nervous about having to learn a whole new train cycle. I get the T in Boston, it's easy enough, but it took me a long time to figure out. I am not very...directionally oriented, you could say; I get lost while driving around my hometown. As you can imagine the idea of learning a new train schedule and which train goes where and how long it will take was incredibly daunting.

When I first arrived I was told that I would be going to Glasgow University sometimes and I would have to take the underground, and I sort of nodded and said "Yes", hoping that it wouldn't be anything complicated. You can imagine how happy I was when I looked at the following map:

I only have to go a few stops in one direction - from Buchanan St to Hillhead. Going back is just as easy! I sort of alternate my time between Strathclyde and Glasgow Uni, so I'm getting more and more comfortable with it. (Glasgow is a walking city - you could definitely walk from one end to the other in under an hour - but the underground is much more efficient sometimes.)

What is hard about the underground, however, is not knowing the etiquette for riding the trains. Do I make eye contact or should I study my shoes? Should I smile at the cute girl who just got on? I know in France, you would never make eye contact on the metro, but in Boston it's kind of okay. Usually I just sort of read the newspaper over the shoulder of whoever is next to me.

I still love you, New York

One of the first questions people ask me when I open my mouth here is "Where in the States are you from?" I'm not particularly upset by this question - while I certainly don't sound like I could be remotely native to the United Kingdom or even any other part of Europe, maybe it means I am temporarily fooling them by looking kind of European, and I will accept that. (This is very unlikely, however; more to come on this topic, stay tuned.) I usually say Boston, and I either get a bit of a blank stare while they try to recall where that is, or an excited "Oh, BOSTON! My friend/sister (choose one) lives there, I was just there a few years ago!"

Often to counter this question, I ask people where they would like to visit in the States - not because I especially love America but I think it tells me a lot about what other people know about my (our) country. I think it also says a lot about the person I am talking to! I could ask them where in the UK or Europe they would want to go, but most of the time, they have already been everywhere they would have wanted to go, which sort of ruins the fun in that. At least the States are comparatively exotic and/or harder to get to!

Almost everyone I talk to wants to go to New York City and San Francisco. A lot of people seem be really interested in Las Vegas and Florida, too, though I am vehemently trying to talk them out of this, as I think both of these places are miserable. Texas is a pretty popular place, too.

It's really interesting to see that everyone sort of romanticizes the same parts of a country - how many people in the States dream of moving to NYC or San Fran? And everyone tells me that Las Vegas looks inviting because it is "so shiny and magical looking". (I still don't understand Florida.) Part of the draw, I've been told, is the intriguing vastness of American cities. European cities are so compact - I was so surprised to hear that I could walk from one side of Glasgow to the other in under an hour! Occasionally I get someone who says they want to see some nature - they want to see the Grand Canyon or the Rockies and the northeast in the fall, but even they want to see NYC. Washington DC may be the capital of the United States, but everyone loves New York.

living with the living

Hi friends! Lots of things have been going on and most of them have been sort of logistical and therefore probably very boring to hear about. Here are some basic things that are kind of interesting in a list.

1. The education system here is so different - almost everyone else in the English department is native to Scotland, if not Glasgow. It seems that you generally go to university near where you grew up and then you keep going there for your Masters and ultimately your PhD. This means I am one of the only people to have traveled to go here, and I am on a supreme learning curve when it comes to the department, the university, and life in Scotland in general.

2. Time is a cultural construct. (I know, I'm sorry.) I'm still working out what counts as "early" in the morning! I am working on getting my stomach on a food schedule - Here we get lunch around 1 or 2, go to the pub around five or six, and then eat dinner around eight or nine. I don't know how to sustain that! We had a department party last night, which involved a meeting for all English postgrads and a second meeting with a few other departments we're friendly with, both of which featured wine. Then a group of us went to the pub afterwards. When do you eat dinner in that? You've just had lunch, so you're not hungry, but by the time you leave the pub you are STARVING. (Translation: I was embarrasingly drunk.)

3. I had to apply for a Glasgow University library card, which was easy enough. However, this currently means that I have 5 library cards: the library in my hometown, UNH, Harvard, Strathclyde and Glasgow University. Additionally I have access to a bunch of networked libraries on the same systems (UNH is linked to the Greater Boston library system, for instance.) I would estimate right now that I have access to over thirty libraries, which is really exciting!

4. I was given an office, too. AN OFFICE. Well, it is more like a desk in a room of postgraduates but an office nonetheless. It makes me feel really important to say I have an office. I also have a computer, which is an ancient brick running windows XP.

5. I am quickly learning that this is not a very tech-oriented place. (Hey UNH folks, remember blackboard? I MISS IT. you read that right. Our @strath.ac.uk email goes through Outlook, and in order to have full functionality in the module you have to use Internet Explorer. No, I am not kidding about this.)

Meet All The People!

One of my advisors got me in touch with a majority of the other postgraduates in the English Department. They are all very nice, taking me out to lunch/dinner/coffee, etc. They are all very nerdy intelligent people who get really excited about immensely nerdy things. (One of them, for example, is writing his PhD dissertation on Scottish avant-garde magazines from the 60s.) One of my advisors actually invented literary linguistics, and everyone works on it to some extent here. I am in the right place! I HAVE FOUND MY PEOPLE. it is very, very comforting.

I will be working with some people at Glasgow University and I am to look at the linguistics lectures at the university of Edinburgh (they have a very famous linguistics dept) and attend some of their lecture series while writing and researching my MRes project. On top of all of that, I've been asked to work on a project about poetic verse. (I have been assured that I do not need to work at quote "breakneck American pace", though I'm not really sure how that will work.)

We have a postgraduate room full of desks and ancient computers which is charming in it's own sort of way (though we have a beautiful view of the city), and we have a kitchenette complete with a coffeepot (coffee is not A Thing here, tea is, which is fine except for the fact that you need me awake!) Most people drink instant coffee, which is far from acceptable; I've been told that "filter coffee" as it's called here is a big treat. (I bought the most american-looking coffeepot of all time for the apartment. My roommates are baffled by it, but don't seem to mind it.)

And the mystery 4th roommate showed up! She is also Irish and also studying Forensic Science. It turns out that she is from the same school as our other Irish flatmate - they went to undergrad together, took classes together, never met each other, but know all the same people and now are living together. It's unlikely, that's for sure.

I keep forgetting that i am an "international student" so I'm trying to get on board with that. I went to a International Student mixer yesterday evening and had fun, so maybe i will keep going to those. It's hard to meet people in a city, I think - I guess I have to go find some hobbies and get going with those. But really, I wish there was another American here. (there's a lot of canadians, which is kind of nice.) But, like, I miss America and American things. I feel like I'm in America sometimes, except for the fact that nothing is recognizably american. A lot of the brands are the same, but I don't know where to buy these sorts of things.

I was writing this while I wait for our hot water to turn on. As you can imagine I am not a big fan of this system of "turn on the hot water". Can't a girl just get a warm shower in the morning without having to wait?

ágætis byrjun: a good beginning

Things are going well so far! Tomorrow I move into my apartment, wherein i will finally be meeting The Mystery Roommates, but then I will be without internet for a few days until I register as a person at Strathclyde.

I met one of my advisers and his wife - they are very, very nice. I was effectively wined & dined by them, and then proceeded to be invited to EVERYTHING EVER with them. At the very earliest, I already have standing plans to go to a wine tasting in October. In the meantime, I'm setting up meetings with other postgraduates in the department, so my first week will be full of meeting other people, which is exciting. I'll also be attending a department start-of-semester party, so I will hopefully know some people by the end of next week.

We've done a ton of shopping today. There's a lot of really nice shops around here; apparently Glasgow has some of the best shopping outside of London. I have a cell phone now, which makes me about 50% of a real person in the UK. However, the best part of today was taking a 15 minute walk away from our hotel, nearly out of the city, to go a Staples. Carriages! Recognizably American things! It was exciting. Glasgow's a beautiful city with lots to do, full of art and culture, but maybe I miss America a little bit. It's weird - it still kind of feels like I'm just on vacation here.

(However, American TV has nothing on British TV. Presently every channel seems to be playing Friends, but previously we watched a report on a sheep that had broken into someone's house and "gone on a rampage", a very thorough analysis of Zac Efron's beard, and then more things about the Pope, who apparently is here as well.)

for security reasons, all unattended bags will be collected and destroyed

GREETINGS FROM GLASGOW, everyone!

I am in a hotel in glasgow city center with Mom. I was freaking out a little bit when we were about to leave Logan, which I think is understandable, but our flights are fine, we are safe, etc.

I originally wanted to sort of live-blog this journey (or be like, a Travel Writer, but I don't know how to make things interesting) but limited wifi access without paying ~$20 for wifi at Heathrow would have made this difficult. Also, there is no wifi in the sky.



8:30 PM EST, Logan Airport. LOOK WE ARE EXCITED TO START THIS JOURNEY

2:30 AM EST, On The Airplane
I don't sleep on airplanes -- instead I am watching Late-Night-Transatlantic-TV-Programming. So far I have seen the end of a Queen Latifah movie which severely lacks a discernable plot - though I might have missed it when i went back to reading my book - and I have just watched a game show of some sort where two children are given towels to throw wiffle balls into inflatable water ring in a studio. at 3:30 AM they start showing The Office (American). NOTHING ABOUT THIS MAKES SENSE.


10:05 AM GMT (5:05 AM EST), Heathrow Airport
we have been awake since yesterday morning including a 6-hr flight + 5 hrs of time zone changes

13:35 PM GMT our plane from Heathrow to Glasgow has been delayed. we were supposed to be on it right now. We do not have a departure time for the next hour.

13:40 PM GMT THE POPE IS ON TV. Apparently he is here too. Mom claims that his car is called the Popemobile. I doubt this.

14:00 PM GMT WE ARE BOARDING THIS PLANE... in 20 minutes. At least we have a gate for departure now. GLASGOW HO!

14:45 ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzcoffee!

15:30 GLASGOW! Hello! You are pretty!


16:15 Check in to hotel. How do we make the light switches work? We have been awake for nearly two days now. (spoiler: we figured it out.)


LATER TONIGHT I am meeting the English Department! And maybe sleeping again! I would like this very much.

i don't pretend to know how time zones work, so you will just have to bear with me for a bit while I figure out how to change all my accounts.

a brief treatise on plugs OR, heather is a stupid american

[editor's note 1: once upon a time, specifically in 2008, i went to Cambridge University for a six-week study abroad program through the unh english department. today's post is edited and reblogged from my blog about that trip. if you are the curious type, you can read my old blog here.

editor's note 2: some friends of mine from college - wow that is weird to say - and i have just started a music blog, where we post playlists. check that out if you want some free music from us.]

---
Did you know that plugs are different abroad? I didn't until I was preparing to go to the UK the for the first time. I think it would be great if someone designed some sort of universal plug for every major part of the world; it would certainly make things easier.

I'm assuming we are all familiar with the American system of plugs: some have two prongs and others have three prongs. This (I think) has something to do with voltage; the three-prong plugs presumably use more volts than their two-pronged cousins. This system is also used in Canada.

However, the rest of the world uses different plug shapes. You can buy extensive kits! It's sort of exciting. To quote a plug-adapter seller,
"If you are planning to use electrical appliances in another country, you need to know which type of electrical voltage is used in that specific country and which type of plugs and outlets are using there. If the voltage is the same or you’re using a universal power supply, all you need is a plug adapter converter to change line voltage from one to another amount. Please note there are different types of adapters for the specific countries, please select the right one when you’re traveling (otherwise, the adapter will not work because this is not specific design for that country)."

Furthermore, "a 120-volt electrical appliance designed for use in North America or Japan will provide a nice fireworks display - complete with sparks and smoke - if plugged into a European socket."





Up there are a bunch of illustrations showing a variety of different plug types worldwide. The UK uses plug style H. The internet tells me so, and the internet is always right... I have a bunch of these adapters sitting around; I hope they work and don't make things go kaboom. [ed.: they were great. nothing blew up. always a plus in my book. they are coming back with me for round two.]

This whole system strikes me as vastly unproductive, or perhaps very lucrative, I'm not sure which. Either way, I think someone should get their act together and figure out a way to keep voltages pretty much equal or create some sort of consistent plug shape. I'm not saying everyone should adapt to American standards, but surely we can figure out how to consolidate electricity into one standard form. This system strikes me as being wildly ineffective.

something about airplanes

this is my mother & i. we frequently wear the exact same color combinations, though not on purpose.

On September 15 we are flying from Boston to London to Glasgow!